Tonight Your Dinner's Free Whats In It For Me? (C)

[locke marie winters]

Locke smiled at the waiter as she made her way into the diner. They all knew her there. She loved Ruby’s diner. When she was younger, her mother used to bring her here for mother daughter lunches. They were some of her favorite memories. Now she came here to study. Home was crazy with Matt constantly working in his home studio dad had built for him or with Cassie constantly pitching a fit about one thing or another. Locke was the only one still trying to finish high school and no one seemed to get that she needed to study. So she spent endless hours, long into the night sometimes, sitting at the back corner table doing homework on the night she didn’t have gigs at the hotel.

Happy to see her usual table empty, Locke sat down and began pulling out her books and spreading them out on the table. She then pulled out her ipod, sticking the buds in her ear. Normal teens would turn to bands like Paramore or Say Anything while studying. Locke blasted classical violin music. It kept her calm and helped her focus and tonight she really needed focus. She had a huge physics test the next day and she wasn’t sure she was prepared.

After she had been there for a good half hour, a waitress, one Locke had seen many times before, set a cup of coffee on the table and left. No one ever offered her food anymore. They knew she was satisfied with just coffee. She was sure they wondered about her eating habits, but no one ever questioned it. That’s what she liked about Ruby’s. They accepted thing without question.

[spencer ward]

Spence pushed the door to Ruby’s open and stepped inside. Pulling his hood down, he moved to the nearest table and sat with his back against the window and his feet up on the chair next to his. He hadn’t gelled his hair today, so the layers hung in his eyes. His eyes. Shit. He grabbed the napkin holder and looked at his reflection. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen. He set the box down and gave his eyes a good rub, knowing that he had surely made it worse. He brushed his hair away from his face as the waitress approached him. Before she could speak, he waved his hand. “Um…I’m good.” After casting a quizzical look down at him, she smiled and walked away. It was then that Spence realized he had no intention of eating.

He buried his face in his hands and let out a long sigh. He’d woken up early for no reason and sat in front of the TV for hours, not really seeing. When his hands began to shake, he found (to his dismay) that he was out of cigarettes. Instead, he’d rolled himself a blunt and spent some quality time with it. Now, here he sat in a diner, not hungry. What kind of a life was this? Home escapee, college dropout, multiple addict – it was no way to make a living, yet he’d somehow managed to make it this far.

Out of the corner of his eye, Spence simply saw – orange. He glanced over and saw that he was not the only customer, as he’d thought. A girl sat a few tables down from him, hunched over a book, listening to music. He followed her headphone wire up until it disappeared into her mane of bright red hair. It wasn’t for any particular reason, but Spence developed an immediate fascination for this girl. Not an attraction or anything of the like, but an intrigue. He took the girl in as she sat, silent and focused. She was beautiful, that was for sure. He realized he’d been staring, and returned his attention to his hands in his lap, which had begun to shake again.

[locke marie winters]

Physics had to be the hardest class she had ever taken. She hadn’t needed the credits, but at the time it had sounded like a good idea. She liked to learn, as weird as that was, but this was too intense even for her. She was probably going to fail, not that anyone cared. Her father hadn’t paid any attention to her school work for years. Failing this wouldn’t change that. She wanted to pass for herself. She wanted to keep her perfect grades. She wanted to be perfect.

Without realizing it, Locke had lost herself in the music blasting into her ears, rather than the words on the page. A rather intense part of a song she was planning to learn next built up and her eyes closed in concentration, her head swaying with the music. The movement caused her hair to fall into her eyes, but she made no move to push it back. She was lost in her music until finally the song ended. Her eyes fluttered open, focusing unexpectedly on a boy sitting a few tables away. She almost jumped when she realized she wasn’t alone. She wasn’t used to seeing other people here this late. It was something she liked.

Locke found herself studying the boy. His clothes were nothing special. Jeans and a hoodie. It was his eyes that caught her attentions. They were tired looking, red, and swollen. They made her curious, but nervous at the same time. From spending a lot of nights walking around when she couldn’t sleep, she knew what a druggie looked like and he was definitely one. She quickly looked away, but he had sparked her interest enough that her focus was gone.

[spencer ward]

Spencer folded his hands and put pressure on them, attempting to at least mask the shakiness. When this started to send shooting pains up his arms and turn his hands red, he stopped. He’d bought more cigarettes this morning. He’d just go outside and have on in a minute. He didn’t feel much like moving at the moment, due to his aching body and the curious girl sitting by him. He continued to steal glances at her while she wasn’t looking. Every time he looked at her, she seemed to be less focused on her book and more in a trance with her music. Her eyes had closed and she was swaying subtly from side to side. Suddenly, her eyes flew open and landed directly on him. Not sure how to deal, he whipped his in the opposite direction and decided to watch the cakes spinning in the freezer by the door.

So, she’d at least looked at him. He wondered if it was safe to cast a sideways glance. When he saw more hair then flesh, he turned his head fully to look at her. She was once again looking at her book, but somehow appeared distracted. He grinned to himself. He supposed he might as well make something out this awkward wall that they had silently built between them. He looked around him to see if anybody was looking. Why did that matter? He didn’t know. He turned back to the girl and spoke his quiet, somewhat raspy voice. “You…uh…you waitin’ on anybody?” He mentally crossed his fingers.

[locke marie winters]

Locke stared at her book, trying to hard to get back to work but she couldn’t. She could feel his eyes on her and it was distracting. She wanted to look back up and maybe get him to stop, but she couldn’t. She wanted to run, she didn’t like attention, but she couldn’t move. Instead she just stared at her book, flipping her pencil back and forth between the pages. Even her music wasn’t enough to hold her attention, and she ended up turning it down to just background noise, letting it fill the silence but not her head.

Locke was a nobody when she wasn’t performing. She knew that and she accepted it. She liked having her privacy and being left alone. She wasn’t used to being noticed. She was used to being ignored. But… at the same time its was kind of exciting. It made her nervous, like someone was going to jump out and scare her at any moment, but it felt good for someone to notice her, even just across the room.

“You…uh…you waitin’ on anybody?” Locke froze when she heard his rough voice call to her. It wasn’t the voice she had expected to hear, but it seemed to fit him well. She looked up slowly, her eyes shining with nervousness and shock. She pulled the bud out of her ear, looking behind her to make sure he wasn’t talking to anyone else. When she was sure, sure turned back, shaking her head in response.

[spencer ward]

When he spoke, it looked like someone had hit the girl on the head. Every part of her body tensed and she stayed frozen for what felt like hours, but probably only were seconds. Spence was sure he’d scared the shit out of her, judging from her reaction. A part of his body cringed with regret. He rarely spoke to someone who had not addressed him first. There was something about this girl, though, and he felt almost obliged to speak. And now, he was sure the girl would pack her things and go running out the door. However, she finally moved. She took an earbud from her ear and turned her head – first to look at him, then over her shoulder, then back to him again. She shook her head.

Well, she didn’t seem to speak much. Maybe she was deaf? Nah, she was listening to music. Maybe she was much like in himself, in that she had little to no experience with other people. Whatever the reason was, she was definitely not a big talker. Spencer brushed away his dark brown layers which had again fallen in his eyes. He then became very aware of his hands, which had begun to shake violently in the last few minutes. He wound his fingers together to stop the shaking while he thought of his next move. Did he dare invite himself to sit with her? Or would he come across as a creep? He didn’t want to scare her, considering the look on her face told him she was plenty stricken already.

He figured he’d ask her the question that was shamefully burning in the back of his mind. Foolish as it may sound, he was generally curious. “Do you…you know, talk?” He made a sort of talking gesture with his hand, just in case.

[locke marie winters]

Locke kept her eyes on him as he seemed to judge his own actions. She watched as his hands, shaking horribly, moved the a few strand of hair out of his eyes. She knew that feeling. Every few days, she got the shakes as well and the only thing that could fix it was food or a cigarette. She always opted for a cigarette. It calmed to shaking, the nerves, and quieted her stomach all at once. She wanted one now, but didn’t want to just up and leave. She was worried that would make him think she was scared, or that she thought he was weird. So she sat until he finally spoke.

A small smile spread over her lips and a look of amusement crossed her face. Never in her life had she wanted to know sign language as bad as now. It would have been great if she had started talking with her hands as is she really didn’t speak. He would feel awful. It would be hilarious. But alas, she didn’t know any, so instead she opened her mouth and responded.

”Yes I speak,” she said softly, pushing her book away. There was no use trying to focus anymore. She would just have to wing the test the next day and hope she did well. It was what she tended to do with physics anyway. She reached for her purse and pulled our her pack of Spirits. ”Here, this will help the shaking,” she said, trying to show that she was trying to help, but probably only succeeding at looking awkward and nervous.[/blockquote]

[spencer ward]

Spencer breathed a sigh of relief. One awkward situation down, but how many to go? She held out a cigarette for him. “Here, this will help the shaking.” Dammit. He’d been caught. Although, she was offering to help him rather than turning her attention away from him. That was better than nothing, wasn’t it? He’d bought a new pack that morning, and actually had the pack in his pocket, but he didn’t want to be rude. He stood up and made his way cautiously over to the girl. He took the cigarette with a smile and tucked it behind his ear. “Thanks,” he muttered.

God, she really was pretty. In a tragic sort of way. She looked scared and flustered as hell, but still managed an odd sort of attractiveness. She’d seemed to abandon her book (which turned out to be a physics textbook) and her one earbud still hung limp at her side. Well, he had her full attention, anyway. He wasn’t sure what to do with it all. He’d spent most of his life trying to hide and avoid people. Those had mainly been classroom situations, not one-on-one like this. He stood shuffling awkwardly for a moment, trying to think of what to say. Finally, the best he could come up with was: “Is it cool if I sit, or…?” Curse his goddamn hands. They were getting worse, and he became very aware of the cigarette in his ear. He itched to reach up and take it, but resisted the urge for the moment, waiting for this fascinating woman’s response.

[locke marie winters]

[/blockquote]Locke smiled as he took the cigarette from between her fingers and slid it behind his ear. She felt kind of bad for him. She knew what it felt like to have the shakes and how bad it got. It didn’t matter that they were probably for different reasons. She wasn’t entirely sure which habit would be considered healthier, but it didn’t really matter at that moment. Neither one of them seemed on their way to a recovery of any kind. She knew she wasn’t. The low growl that sounded from her stomach just then was proof of that.

In the awkward moments that passed, Locke looked him over. He was cute, in a rugged sort of way. He looked like he had been through a lot, things that had taken their toll on him. Her curious nature made her want to find out about him, but her shyness and lack of people skills kept her from trying to talk at all.

When he asked if he could sit, she smiled and reached for her purse again. She knew he was itching to smoke what he had just been given, and frankly, she needed one too. ”Actually, lets step outside. It could do use both some good,” she said, holding up her hand so he could see them shaking. She stood up, flipping her hair back over her shoulder and headed outside. The waiters smiled at her. She trusted them enough to leave her books and violin there. They knew to protect her stuff for her.[/blockquote]

[spencer ward]

As he waited for her response, Spence noticed the girl seemed to be looking him over thoughtfully. Taking him in. He glanced over his shoulder uncomfortably, not sure what else to do with himself. And he really needed that cigarette, dammit. Finally, she said, “Actually, let’s step outside. It could do us both some good.” He could have kissed her in that moment. He followed her out, nodding to the waiters as he passed them. He threw his hood over his head and looked back, noticing she had left her book on the table, and a violin he hadn’t noticed before.

Outside, he took the cigarette out from behind his here and put it between his lips. He took the lighter from his pocket and breathed in as he held the flame to the end. He closed his eyes, satisfied with the feeling in his throat and lungs. Finally. He exhaled and watched the smoke curl and fade. Re-pocketing the lighter, he looked sideways at the girl. She was so quiet. Much like himself. It was good to be able to be in someone’s company without being expected to talk. To just kind of exist on the same plane. The silence was indeed appreciated, yet he knew he had to strike up conversation with her, seeing as they’d just met. He was about to open his mouth when he realized he didn’t know what to call her. “You got a name?” he asked, putting the cigarette back in his mouth.

[locke marie winters]

Locke stepped out into the chilly night air and mentally kicked herself for not bringing her jacket. She was always colder than the normal person, it came with the territory. She hoped lighting up her cigarette would distract her enough from the cold. So, she quickly lit up, inhaling deeply. A smile spread on her lips as she exhaled, watching the smoke spread from her lips and into the air around her. She loved the burst of whatever it was that hit your system when you took that first inhale. Her hands would shake a bit more for a while before finally dying down. The nicotine hitting her empty system would cause the extra shakes, but she didn’t mind.

She watched as the kid lit up and caught herself studying him again. It was a bad habit she had. She had a curious nature and wanted to know about people, but she was too quiet to ever say anything. So she studied. She always tried to figure out what people were thinking through their body language. Sometimes she succeeded, other times not so much. When the boy asked her name, she smiled, inhaling once more, realizing she didn’t know his name as well.

”I’m Locke,” she said, the smoke escaping her lips as she spoke. ”And you are?” she asked softly. No matter who she was talking to, her voice was soft and shy and sometimes a little nervous. She always tried to sound more confident, but it never worked.

[spencer ward]

Locke. Locke. Locke. Spence repeated the name several times in his head. It was unusual, yet it strangely fit her. Her voice was like air. It was beautiful. So soft and quiet. He even had to lean over a bit to hear her over the noise of the city. He watched as her cigarette burned. She even made smoking elegant. What was it about this girl? He had no idea. He was drawn to her. Her read hair, her movements, that voice…it was all reeling him in. Was he falling for this girl? Nah. He’d never had anyone for more than a night or two. He felt compelled to ask if she was single, but thought that would sound like an invitation and immediately shot the idea down. He had no desire to date. No good could come of it. He wondered how she’d feel on the subject of his sexuality, but decided that wasn’t exactly conversation for the first ten minutes.

“And you are?” Her voice pulled him from his thoughts. Had he really had time to think of all that in the few seconds between her sentences? Wow. His mind had been known to race. As he pondered that, her words registered, and he realized a few awkward seconds has passed since she’d asked. “I’m Spencer, or Spence,” he said, holding out his hand. Do you shake hands with girls? He didn’t know. He was sure this girl thought he was a freak, anyway, between his swollen eyes and delayed responses. She didn’t seem to be one for initiating dialogue, so he figured he’d take it upon himself to keep things moving. “You live around here?” he asked casually. He flicked his cigarette and watched the sparks drift down to the sidewalk.

[locke marie winters]

Locke calmly took another drag of her cigarette while she waited for the boy to answer. It seemed that he had a lot going on in his head in those short moments. He seemed lost in him and Locke watched, as he looked her over. It made her kind of nervous. She fidgeted with the belt loops on her jeans and took a long drag, letting the smoke fill her lungs and calm her nerves. He wasn’t dangerous, she had decided that already. And there was something about him that made her stick around. It was odd. For the first time in years someone was paying attention and talking to her. Normally she would run the other direction. She didn’t like attention because normally it was just her father yelling or her sister bitching. But he was just… there. Listening and talking.

Finally he spoke. Spencer. Spence. It was an interesting name and it fit him. Spencer was a rough name, and by his appearance, like his sunken eyes and shaking hands, he had been named well. No one outside of the music producers she met ever shook hands. It took her a second before she clasped her hand with his, attempting to smile as she gave it a small nervous shake before pulling back. ”Yeah. My dad owns NYBA,” she said, almost as if rehearsed. She forgot sometimes that people didn’t always know what that meant. ”Sorry… New York Ballet Academy,” she quickly corrected, blushing slightly.

[spencer ward]

He didn’t know why, but Spence was relieved when she shook his hand. Perhaps it was because he’d avoided standing with his hand out to the open air. So, her father owned this NYBA. He’d never heard of it, but thankfully she specified so he at least knew what she was talking about. He brought his hand up to take the cigarette from his mouth, where he’d left it to shake her hand. He inhaled slowly, savoring the feeling, then brought his hand (now with the cigarette) down to his side, and blew. He closed his eyes and leaned his had back against the wall. He was so damn tired. But then again, he was tired practically every waking moment. He opened his eyes. His hair had fallen back in his face, so he brushed it aside with his free hand.

“Nice,” he said, in response to Locke. He meant it. The fact that her father owned anything was interesting in itself. Shit, his own father was a janitor for Christ’s sake. At least this girl had some ripe fruit dangling from her family tree. He’d cut his own family tree down when he’d escaped his father. “I wish I knew where the hell my dad was.” He hadn’t meant to say that. His thoughts had sort of escaped his mind through his mouth. Although, he did want to keep talking to Locke. He took another drag on his cigarette, noticing that it had gotten quite short. He flicked the ash, and let his hand dangle by his side.

[locke marie winters]

Locke didn’t reply right away. She thought over his words with a long drag off her cigarette. As the smoke filled the air around him, she realized he was some sort of runaway, or in the very least had gotten kicked out. She felt bad, but in a way she envied him. She hated having to go home all the time. She was waiting for the day when she could move out and not deal with her brother or sister or father ever again. But she had to finish high school first. Her father, in one of the only moments of actually paying attention to her, had forbid her to travel with an orchestra until she had graduated. She had two already promising her a chair next summer, but that felt like forever.

”You’re not missing much. Having a dad isn’t all that great,” she said, shrugging like her words meant nothing. She had accepted a long time ago that her father didn’t love her and that he never would. She knew he blamed her for everything wrong in his life, but there was no way to fix that. She had grown used to being ignored and didn’t much like attention now anyway. She just wanted to graduate, get out, and leave her family alone. She didn’t want to live in a house in which she would forever be regarded as a ghost and an unfriendly reminder of those already gone. ”Family is overrated,” she said softly, almost to herself.